This is the 5th article in my newest series, Saturn Return. These posts are from amazing souls who have gone through theirs (or are still in their Saturn Return) and are sharing their stories to help us prepare and reflect on the powerful effects the planet Saturn has on our lives. What is your Saturn Return? This is the best explanation I have found.
KV from Aquarius Nation also made this amazing free episode about the Saturn Return on her Earth Walk Podcast. So so powerful!
So grab a cup of coffee or tea and stay awhile. Let your soul be immersed in these stories and learn what you need hear.
Natal Saturn - 6th House (Work, Health and Service)
PS: My Natal Saturn is also at 6 Degrees so Health and Service are spotlighted even
more and Relationships are added to the mix as well!
Before we dive into the fertile deep of deliciousness that is the Saturn Return,
thereʼs something you should know about me.....
Interpreting the messages within the Stars and Planets through Numbers, IS what my
soul came here to do. Iʼm literally obsessed with all things ʻCosmicʼ and nothing LIGHTS
ME UP more than guiding a woman to and through her sacred personal cycles!
The things is, when it comes to exploring the vast plains of potential and experience for
myself, well, letʼs just say itʼs not something I excel at! Because once I get too deep,
which in comparison to what I do for others is mere inches below the surface, the
blinders come up, skewing my vision. But, I digress....
You see, as a Capricorn, Saturn is the ʻrulingʼ planet of my sign, and thus, one of my
ʻmainʼ sources of Cosmic Medicine.
In fact, much of my life has had a strong Saturn Return flavor to it. Hell the fact that
Iʼm even writing to you at all, and about a topic such as this no less, is the very work of
But hereʼs the thing: Saturn Returns get an awfully bad rap.
Just surf around online and within minutes you can find more horror stories than Steven
King himself can shake a stick at. And for good reason since one of THE biggest
reasons why the ʻSaturn Return can, and often is so damn turbulent is because we
NEVER see it coming!
Itʼs like weʼre confidently strutting along our path toward independence one minute, and
feeling quite INCREDIBLE I might add, and then like lightening collide with the rocky
terrain below - all the while hitting every possible branch on the way down.
Now why is that? Well, in addition to the invincible and all-knowing mentality of many 20
somethingʼs, the unfortunate truth is that VERY few people are even aware of the
Saturn Return and the impact it has to shape your life, let alone when theirs will occur.
And even less (as in pretty much no one) receives personal insight and support on how
to ʻprepareʼ for it ahead of time and use it to their advantage!
But, in our defense, I will point out that NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THE GREAT
DESCENT!! And Iʼm not talking about the year of although thatʼs better than nothing.
And so....... we miss the signs.
Only to ʻwakeʼ and find ourselves standing (if weʼre lucky) in the cindering rubble of what
once was. Our 20ʻs gone. Mind, Body and Spirit stripped bare....leaving us raw, in real
time, for the rest of the world to see, and not knowing why.
Now what I know for sure is that itʼs time to generate a new flow of experience,
communication and community around this pivotal juncture that is the First
And so my intention in connecting with you here today, soul to soul, and sharing my
story, is to inspire a collective spark by shinning the brightest light I can on this transient
cycle of initiation and becoming.
The Reflection and the Remembering
For the last 8 months (6 of which were an internal uproarious mess) Iʼve been leaning
into the furrow of my first Saturn Return.
When Iʼm fortunate enough to find some solitude (which can be tricky with a toddler and
a business) I can reflect upon this time and realize how it has felt like a great awakening
from an insensible dream as Iʼve ebbed and flowed between deep and shallow sleep.
The sweet spot where just as my senses become akin to the sounds of the birds, the
warmth of the sun, the gentleness of my breath and the rise and fall of my chest; my
intuition hits like lightening, and I can hear the ticking in my soul.....
Sometimes I dance to its incessant, yet reassuring beat that reminds me Iʼm still alive.
While others I run rampant on the brink of what feels like my sanity being ripped away.
Now Iʼll be the first to admit I didnʼt see it creeping up on me, because it wasnʼt long into
my 28th year before my life became cloaked in discontent, my digestive health started
to relapse, and I began to question everything as so many conflicting thoughts intruded
upon my dream space.
Things that only yesterday energized me, now left me feeling restless as an untraceable
emptiness came over me and a stinging resentment toward everything began to fill me
up. (And I felt guilty about every. single. one.)
Then, I remembered.......this has happened before!!!
It was the summer of 2007 to winter 2008. I was 21.
And while I had NO CLUE at the time, Saturn (which was squaring my natal Saturn)
was pulling at me, urging me to wake up, to re-structure, and start creating a life of
meaning! Humbling me. Preparing me for his Return.
Hereʼs a snapshot of what went down that year:
• I graduated college and landed an awesome J.O.B in the fashion industry. Traveling
swiftly upward upon the path I was certain Iʼd be on forever.
• Then, I began to despise said job with no clue as to why, other than I wanted to truly
help people, and without the slightest inclination of how I was going to do that. I
eventually ended up leaving, only to experience the same shit but in a few different
piles before I began to get serious and take a really hard look at myself.
• During that time hopping around my comfort zone, my body was quickly overcome
with dis-ease (IBS) that eventually threw me into a slippery depressive slope.
• My 5 year relationship with my boyfriend went off the rails. Crashed and burned like a
hollywood blockbuster, and I moved back in with my parents (3 hours away from
where I made a life for myself) while I found my own apartment. And my
All the bases - work, service, health and relationships were covered. And while there is
much more to that part of the story, it was a profound year of soul growth that I never
thought Iʼd make it through! Really, if I didnʼt now know your return happened around
28/29 I would have swore to you that was it!
Now even though everything turned out fabulously over the next few years, having to go
back ʻthereʼ, to really remember how I got there and live it all over again second hand,
was painful as I cringed in the shadow of illusive possibility that ʻthisʼ could all very well
So I let myself spiral for a time. In silence. Contemplating every possible negative
scenario I could imagine, and what I was going to do if it happened. It was a dark wave I
had to let ride, until I came face to face with my fear.
The fear I allowed to dictate my actions for as long as I can remember. The fear that
made me rigid. That made that year so agonizing because I didnʼt yet know and
understand the importance of learning and personal growth .
The fear I KNEW I had to transmute to become my fuel.
Entering the Descent
Time Warp to November 2015 - the month my Saturn Return will reach itʼs peak
intensity. (3 months before my 30th birthday)
I know I will be nearing the end of a numerological cycle where change is all thatʼs being
served. Where the cyclical breakdown of unhealthy material attachments will be
transmuted - and at lightening speed. The kind of terrain where intuition is all you have
to go on because everything else is in a state of flux. Thankfully ALL will be in the name
of freedom, soul expression and invigorating adventure!
I also know that my awareness of my Destiny, as well as my sense of self, particularly in
relation to my work and relationships, will be significant themes. (This is about as deep
as I get before the blinders appear and skew my vision)
Now itʼs only because of this foreknowledge that I can really laser in on my current
experiences with future eyes and enter the flow of my Saturn Return consciously!
Otherwise, Iʼd likely be flying semi-blind, building walls and playing life on the too safe
side. (My default setting)
Itʼs whatʼs giving me the confidence to step outside my comfort zone now, rather than
being pushed later. (That way, Saturn can focus on lifting me up, rather than helping me
get sorted out and take myself and the impact Iʼm here to make more seriously!)
Because if you only take ONE THING from this post (if youʼre still reading, which I
sincerely hope you are) itʼs that Saturn ALWAYS sends messages ahead of time.
And that the main reason why things can get so challenging during this pivotal
turning point in your life is because Saturn REFUSES to leave you behind!!
So itʼs ok to stop pushing back, and let life sweep you off your feet and do the heavy
lifting for a time because it ripens you to receive one of the most invaluable gifts that
Saturn can give, in that he strives to help you craft a foundational mold for your desires
to take form and thus bring significant meaning to your life!!! (Because when we get
really honest with ourselves, as it pertains to us personally and not getting our path or
cycles crossed with someone elseʼ, Saturn Return never upends anything that we know,
somewhere deep inside ourselves, wasnʼt truly ready to be elevated or released.)
So whenever you begin to feel discontent, where that heavy kind of emptiness
starts to seep in and suffocate your essence....THAT....is Saturn speaking!
Telling you that thereʼs MORE to life beyond the walls you continue to run into. That the
land beyond your current edge is fertile! And that a new flow is emerging that WILL take
you there, giving you the materials required to forge your path, step by step by step.
This, is how he spoke to me.....
The Tightening: Messages from the Timekeeper
The best way I know to describe the decent into the Saturn Return Cycle is like a
tightening thatʼs directing your focus, precious energy and resources in a very specific
and purposeful way - ripening you to expand and really, to have a breakthrough!
Now even though my Return is over a year from now, there is a plethora of insight you
can glean about your own life, from where I am. Because we all feel the aura of
Saturn Return LONG before he comes, and LONG after he goes. And the fact that in
my case, this intense surge of Saturnʼs Cosmic Medicine will only last 1 month, is also
the case for MANY more people than you think!
Which is why Iʼm writing to you from the edge, so that you may come to know, as I have
come to know, the nature of Saturnʼs whisperous caress upon your life path. Because
like I said before, no one talks about the great descent into the heart of Saturnʼs Return.
So here are a few of the more ʻshareableʼ whisperʼs Iʼve been receiving and following
religiously - borderline stalking even - that will culminate over the next 15 months and
spill over into the next chapter of my adult life creating a potentially thriving flow of
1) While it was scary as hell when it happened, and Iʼm still emerging from the shadows
as you read this, in June of this year I was completely disconnected from my work.
And this was something that literally came out of nowhere! I didnʼt want to write
anything - which is the heart of how I serve - and literally nothing was flowing anyway.
Not even the sounds of crickets. Many times I thought of quitting, some of which I
honestly believed Iʼd be ok if I did. So after 2 weeks of being pissy, forcing out what I
could and missing a few deadlines, I asked myself what I wanted. During that self
inquiry, one of my biggest wishes that I acknowledged was the genuine desire to be
pulled by a continuous flow of inspiration, and let go of pushing my way everywhere I
got. And Saturn is one of the biggest forces of influence in helping me create that
new level of divine flow. But first, I had to get seriously real with myself about the
current flow I was tolerating through my day to day choices. There was a lot of tough
love, and a few F-Bombs, but it had to happen if I was going to let go of the reigns
and allow my business to support me! And so the more form I create in my business,
the more fluidly Saturnʼs Medicine can guide me to bring structure (the high def kind)
to the creative ideas I intuitively receive, and make plans around the new goals that
surface. Which, up until now, were lucky if I wrote them down let alone put them into
2) This one, is by far the hardest for me. Saturn seeks to bring deeper meaning to your
life, and while it seems out of context (because Saturn is so damn serious) as part of
that healthy foundation that Saturn is a proponent of, I have been pushed to learn to
PLAY a hell of a lot more! To loosen the reins, and extend my range of potential for
joy because right now, Iʼm much more comfortable when Iʼm working than when Iʼm
playing. In fact, itʼs during play that Iʼm THE MOST outside my comfort zone. So weʼll
see how this one plays out. (In truth, Iʼm still resisting this one on more levels than I
knew I had!)
3) Out of all the guidance Iʼve received thus far, and given that my Saturn Return is
really working my relationships, this one, is the one I give the most power in terms of
literally derailing me......again. You see that boyfriend with whom I epically crashed
and burned with, well, weʼve been together 12 years now (engaged for 5) and have a
beautiful little goddess of an earth daughter together. Now for the first half of this
year, it looked as if we were flying off the tracks, again! We fought EVERY New and
Full Moon - Full Moons being the nastiest as waves of resentment that had festered
into rage brought out the beast in me. Triggering me more than Iʼd ever been by
someone by reflecting all the ways I wasnʼt honoring and taking care of myself, and
all the places I wasnʼt speaking up. If I hadnʼt gotten help, we would have derailed.
But instead, I was supported to use this celestial force the way it was intended to be
used, and am now building a stronger foundation that will be borne of a completely
new attitude towards romance, intimacy and relationship, and in learning how to be a
lover as opposed to just a partner.
My top 3 tips on how to ʻprepareʼ for your First Saturn Return
Saturn Return is not seeking to ʻpunish or controlʼ you, but merely to hold seminal space
for you to receive answers to your current and most relentlessly pressing questions by
helping you cement the wisdom youʼve gleaned, or need to, through practical learning.
He does this by presenting you with the exact obstacles you need to grow into deeper
safety and security of who you REALLY are, and are meant to be, by reviewing and
renewing that structures imposed upon you by others that hinder that expression.
So here are my top 3 tips for preparing, and sailing through your first Saturn Return with
grace and your integrity and sanity intact!
1) Donʼt let your fear get the best of you! Fear breeds rigidness, frustration and
confusion which leads to recklessness. More importantly, rigidness, when harbored
for too long, builds a wall that when itʼs time to co-create with Saturn and receive its
Cosmic Medicine, will require significantly more force to penetrate, making an
experience that can be VERY rewarding, more devastating than it needs to be.
2) Pay attention to when Saturn goes Retrograde and leverage it! This happens
once a year (for about 4-5 months at a time) and is an opportune period to really tune
into where youʼre not being realistic in how you show up for your life, the issues
youʼve been avoiding, and where more discipline, structure, fortitude and inner
strength needs to be cultivated. (Itʼs about taking a breather as the rhythm of life
slows down so that you can assess your current reality and get serious about whatʼs
really going on beneath the surface without the pressure of life moving at warp
3) Get a reading! Astrological Charts are as unique as fingerprints! Theyʼre truly one of
a kind. So! Find an astrologer whoʼs message and tone of expression resonate with
you and book yourself a session. Not only will they be able to tell you when and in
what life areas your Saturn Return will be spotlighting, but they should also be able to
give you some practical action steps to take to ensure your experience is as graceful
as possible. (Truly, the more support you have, regardless of the modality, the better!)
Because when you know what areas Saturn is working, then youʼll know what to
listen for ~ And the language of the Timekeeper will be revealed to you.
More in the Series
**click on the images to read their stories**