Today is my Solar Return, My Goddess Day, my special day.... my birthday. I feel love all around me, swirling around and embracing me.
28 years on this Earthwalk has taught me I will never stop learning. Never stop growing and stretching and moving.
I have been in such a liminal space lately. Something is about to shake out of me, but I don't know what. Maybe this is what it feels like approaching your Saturn Return. All I know is barriers are crumbling around me and I am standing here bracing myself for the fall. But I don't think I will fall. I will dive deeper into myself and embrace this scary and messy journey.
I realized that 28 is the number one in numerology (2+8=10, 1+0=1). 28 equals rebirth. I feel this in my heart and core and every cell in my body. I want deeper, I want savor, I want devotion, I want freshness and newness. I want rebirth. I want major healing on all levels.
There is so much liberation in the number 28. I am so fucking excited for the year ahead!
This past week, MAJOR throat chakra blockages came to the surface. I did not expect such a shift was in me. I finally admitted some sacred truths of mine that I have been so ashamed of and waves of tears washed over me and cleansed my spirit. I am still shifting and my throat is still aching, but my inner child came out into the light. I am finally loving on her again.
I am letting her take the wheel and do what feels good. And that meant putting a Christmas village together, and bringing in some Christmas joy this week. We decorated our Christmas tree and my heart feels lighter.
And then yesterday in yoga training we began mantra work and for the next 40 days all of us are chanting "Om gum ganapatayei namaha," 108 times. A mantra for a new year. For a rebirth. "I offer my love and devotion to Ganesha (Indian God, Remover of obstacles), please grant me success in my noble endeavor." By the time 40 days is up, will be done with teacher training and starting a new chapter.
And on Yule, December 21st, I will be meeting up with my Spiritual High Priestess and mentor. We will perform a ritual for Yule and rebirth.
Everything in this life is connected, sacred, and meaningful. I am finding these moments everywhere.
28 is going to be an amazing, exhausting, joyful, spiritual, full of love and growth kind of year. I am ready.