Saturn Return: Into the Deep, Dark, & Emerge into Light
This is the 3rd article in my newest series, Saturn Return. These posts are from amazing souls who have gone through theirs and are sharing their stories to help us prepare and reflect on the powerful effects the planet Saturn has on our lives. What is your Saturn Return? This is the best explanation I have found.
They say that a saturn return can ravage your soul. Leave you sweating and cursing the planets for the better part of 10 months. The growth, the shaking, the upheaval. It can all be quite heavy or it can set you free.
You see, Saturn is a trickster of a mister when he returns–a multi-edged energy. For some, he destroys. For others, he illuminates. He is the energy that says 'act. act now. don't delay. time is ticking'. Culling away the chafe from what glows. Shining a bright light on the 'what needs to change right now'.
Saturn. A bridge to adulthood. A bridge to the 'what is to come'. The ruler of the harvest. The reaper of truth.
In college, I spent much of my time in a small herbal shop, sifting detritus from the deliciously scented plants from the woods. Hours spent decanting blossoms into jars, staring into the herbs as if they were soothsayers to my future.
The owner, a young man nearly 30, was knee deep in his moment of reckoning, that foray into adulthood, the trickster was returning. And to say it showed, might very well have been an understatement. He strained against the financial responsibilities of an endeavor like an herbal apothecary. He worked, he sowed, he toiled, and with little avail.
One of his dear friends, a naturopath, was often in the store saying that 'this too shall pass' but ever so unfondly recalling her own relationship with Saturn. The lost loves, the failed marriage, the depression.
At the tender age of 20, I figured if I ignored it, it wouldn't happen. Nothing could control me if I didn't give it the power to control me. I wouldn't be one of those buckled by the strength of his pull. No ma'am. No sir.
Saturn would not rule me, I said. My Saturn Return will happen without incident, I said. Saturn and I will be friends.
January 2014. My wife and I received word that there was a good chance we'd be without employment come September. I panic.
February 2014. My grandmother, whom I hadn't spent enough time with, falls mysteriously ill. Sending me into a tizzy of a quickly purchased plane ticket, and week long vigil in the ICU.
March-April 2014. My grandmother is in and out of the hospital. My business teters uncertainly between blossoming and folding. Each moment leads to another question.
My health wanes. Lymph nodes swell. Doctors cry 'lymphoma', recurrent 'melanoma'. All resolves as a virus.
My wife and I argue about the future.
May 2014. A friend reminds me that 'perhaps it is just Saturn?' when I remark about the difficult year. I snap back 'Saturn has nothing on me'.
Summer 2014. I move with my grandmother to her summer home that has been in the family since 1940.
My business expands, the weight seems immense. I enter overwhelm. I recover.
Ms. Marissa asks for story-tellers of their Saturn Return journeys and it hits me. I reluctantly look up the dates. Lo & behold: January-October 2014
I suppose I couldn't avoid Saturn after all.
I find myself in awe these days. That hiding from fate/psychic energy/the inevitable is all for naught. Color me unsurprised, I suppose. But there is something to be said about believing you can control everything. That somehow you'll be the one who doesn't feel the mighty blow of Saturn's karmic wrath.
And yes, here I am. In harvest. A daily threshing. Watching what I've sown and relishing in the fruits of my labor.
And often, I cry tears of joy. For what I've sown over my life is bearing fruit.
My marriage is deepening (even amid distance).
My business is expanding (for which I cry grateful tears).
My friendships shifting. Out with the tired, unloved. All for the best. Others, they grow deeper into one another, as if we speak the same language.
I meditate, breathing in peace. I connect, breathing out love.
I buckle down, knowing that yes indeed, 'this too shall pass' and all shall be as it is meant to be.
So today, I choose to shine.
So I do.
So too will you.
Makenna Johnston is business coach and life strategist at www.makennajohnston.com. A reluctant but passionate lover of all things 'woo woo', she finds beauty in the woods and deep solace in the water.
More in the Series
*click on the images to read their stories*