11/10/09 :: A forest of Birch trees (Birch was yelled in my ear, so I am thinking I need to research Birch trees more....and i have been having an urge to find a name...) Misty day. Sun clouded. Damp and cold. Dark dirt path to little cottage with smoke coming out of the chimney. I am barefoot in a white night gown. Startled to see my Sloth Woman (my heartbeat quickened and my hands braced the ground, she was not what I expected!) Crazy old lady. Wearing the same thing as me but with a wreath in her long gray frizzy frazzled hair. Runs to me playing with my hair, dancing around me sniffing me and laughing/giggling a crazy laugh the whole time.
I don't know what to do. I give her a necklace I had gotten from my mom (I was wearing it today so that came to mind) She put it in her mouth but took it out. She plucked out one of my leg hairs from the back of my leg. Leads me into her cottage puts my presents in a bubbling cauldron.
Gives me a wreath of birch leaves and tells me she needs faith from me. It is very frightening to look in her eyes when she is serious and not moving around. We have the same light eyes. She is fierce. I tell her I need love from her.
This was a meditation I will never forget. The vision was so clear and I had no idea who this old lady was. I did not control it in anyway. It freaked me out a little! She was so powerful and all I could do was go with it. My High Priestess and mentor told me to look up Baba Yaga, and I had never heard of her before. When I googled images of her I was astonished:
This was the woman I had seen. This powerful crone goddess, and I looked young like the little girl in her gown up to her neck. I did more research and I learned she lived in a Birch forest in a cottage. I got the chills.
Baba Yaga was calling to me. She wanted to teach me something, but I was too afraid and I did nothing more.
The next year, in Autumn she came to me again...
10.22.10 :: During my meditation today I saw my sloth woman. I ran to her and she led me into her cottage. She cut off all my hair and put it in her cauldron. She made me a concoction from it and I drank it. She then disappeared and I went outside to find her. She had dug up two daffodil bulbs from her daffodil garden and handed them to me as a parting gift. They were still moist and covered in soil.
I looked up keywords and cutting hair symbolizes a new fresh start and a shedding off of some unwanted aspect of myself. Drinking it shows I am embracing the change and taking it in to every cell of my body; its soaking in.
Baba Yaga giving me bulbs represents spiritual, physical, and intellectual potential and refers to a new project/relationship or situation. Covered in soil symbolizes growth and fertility, and a solid foundation for life. And daffodils represent self-love, renewal, inner growth, optimism, inspiration and hope, and once again signaling a fresh start and new beginning.
I couldn't believe what I was reading, but yet I could. Baba Yaga is showing me and telling me I am on the right path and cultivating a new healthy lifestyle. I am budding a new relationship with ME and self-love. I am exactly where I am supposed to be! Blessed Be!
I realized she wasn't to be feared, but she was my inner crone guiding me in the shadowlands. I have never seen her again in a vision or meditation, but I feel her in my bones every Oct/Nov. She comforts me in my darkest time. And for that I am thankful. Maybe I will see her soon...